I’m going to be honest and say that I was not looking forward to writing this post on my walk home tonight. Not that anything too bad happened today, but I did find myself in a really tough emotional spot and could’ve really used a hand to hold.
I woke up with every intention of going to the lab this morning (since I took the afternoon/night off last night) and getting a bunch of work done through the late afternoon. I also had hopes of going to the 1 pm or 6 pm church service if I got enough done on my video project … so I set up my work station and locked myself in.
I ended up working on the project from about 10 am-4 pm, cutting and editing and moving bits and pieces of film around having to due with a children’s bike event that happened on Saturday. I was pretty confident in what I ended up with (for a beginner nonetheless), and was ready to take a break and grab something to eat!
I walked about a block down from my school building to an incredible and beautiful outdoor/garden restaurant. I sat down and was thrilled to find out that they were still serving brunch. Seriously, the way to my heart (if you ever want to know) is to serve me the best blueberry pancakes you’ve ever tasted. With maple butter on top. No syrup. Only butter and a little powdered sugar.
Seriously, I would melt at your feet these pancakes were so good. I will be going back – probably to take Kendall for french toast next week! SHE COMES ON WEDNESDAY MORNING!
I was kind of glad that I was alone … I ate them so fast, it was probably embarrassing. Nothing left on the plate. Satisfaction.
After I finished, I went back to the lab because my professor was coming in to help and look at our projects. He ended up watching mine through, and making some major revision suggestions (and when I mean suggestions, I mean guidelines). I do love and appreciate his help – he’s great with video editing and obviously a broadcast professional – but it was a little hard to take the advice after I had worked on the project for close to 10 hours already.
Even so, I took it in … and started again. We were still working around 9 pm when he had to take off, but I ended up staying until about 10 – with a ‘product’ that I had hoped would be finished, but which is probably still only in its developing stages. I was frustrated because I really had my heart set on finishing today – I get really busy during the week and don’t want to worry about it while my sister is here. It just hurt a little bit to leave the lab feeling defeated and like I wasted an entire day … only to finish with nothing.
I love class, but this one is definitely testing and starting to wear on me. I think I’m just tired of the constant revision and re-do’s. It just seems like nothing ever gets finished.
Thankfully, my mom answered the phone on my way home and talked with me the entire way. I am so grateful for her willingness to just let me pour my heart out to her (and shed a tear or two). I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. She told me what is usually a very cliche phrase, but I couldn’t help but smile.
Tomorrow is another day – it’ll be better. Buy yourself some lunch.
So tomorrow I am taking my mom’s advice. I am remembering where my strength comes from and getting excited for a day in the office. And I’m treating myself to lunch – maybe at Balducci’s. I’m leaving the lab alone for now. It is not what defines me.
I’m the only one who can define me.
ps. I promise I’ll be more uplifting and adventurous again tomorrow 🙂