A Cradle For Her Busy Soul

This busy soul took a vacation. That’s right. You heard her correctly. She packed up her bags, set up her auto reply, and took off for a while. For all intensive purposes, she jumped off the grid. She escaped from the hustle. The noise. The lights. The people. The traffic. The snow. The cold. The feeling that days were simply turning into weeks, and that she had no control over it whatsoever. She escaped it all for a few days. Sure, her phone was still glued to her hip (old habits die hard), but she let herself breathe a bit. She stopped expecting so much of herself, and started to think a little deeper. To process a little more. To dig a little further into that restless soul of hers.

And you want to know what she found?

A little bit of everything.

I wish I could say she found answers. But what she really found were a lot more questions. She started to realize how beautiful little moments were again. Not days, moments. She became confused as to how she’d let herself get so tired in the first place. She remembered, almost instantly, just how important spending time with her family is. She thought about the future, a whole lot. The present, just a little.

I wish I could say she dreamed up an entire novel.
Wouldn’t that be nice.

But that, my friends, would take a little more than 5 days vacation 🙂

What she did find – and boy, did she find a lot of it – was rest for her soul. And I mean, deep, deep rest. The kind of rest that kept her on the beach until sunset, just because she couldn’t stand giving up even a minute of those glorious rays. The kind of rest that makes you question if any of us really get enough rest these days.

Rejuvenation. Vitamin D. Confidence. Ambition. Drive. Energy. Restoration.

That’s what she found on vacation.

Well that, and a whole lot of really happy people. Turns out, people are generally in an exceptionally good mood at the beach. It’s almost like that scene in a movie when everything seems almost too good to be true.

But it wasn’t too good. It was, in fact, true.

People were happy.
And that made her happy, too.

——

And then, she came back. And work happened. And life happened. And bills happened. (Seriously, a student loan bill on the day she got back? That’s just rude.) And an empty fridge stared her in the face when she got home. And she realized that real life wasn’t a vacation. But also that it wasn’t meant to be. Because then we wouldn’t appreciate the vacation near as much, would we?

Walking home tonight, the girl with the busy soul played an epic mind game with herself. One side of her (we’ll call her “Helga”) was arguing that instead of going home and giving her body the rest it was craving from a long day’s travel, it should instead brave the winds and ice for a 3 mile run. (She was already behind in her training.) Granted, it was already late, and all she really wanted was to collapse under her covers and fall asleep. But something, somewhere inside of her, told her that wasn’t enough. She wasn’t going to be great by skipping out on her run. In fact, she’d be quite the opposite. She’d be lazy.

The other side (we’ll call her “Shiloh”) screamed for a quiet night. A little soup on the stove. Some toast, with butter. A little time playing with words and some candlelight. Maybe, if she were lucky & her pantry was still stocked, some hot tea. It argued that the 4:30am wake up call, long flight and hectic work day was reason enough to forfeit an evening workout. She was a morning person, anyway. It could definitely wait. There were more important things waiting.

Things that might just restore a little piece of her soul.

Normally, Helga would win out. Helga would knock Shiloh right out of the ring before she even had a chance. She’s the competitive one. The one who’d trample all over Shiloh’s fragile soul just for a few endorphins. And Shiloh wouldn’t say anything, she’d just know deep inside that Helga didn’t really mean any harm. It was just the voices talking.

This time, though, Shiloh won.

Because on vacation, what the girl with the busy soul did learn, was that we all deserve the right to let our souls win.

To let them breathe.
To let them live.
To let them rest.

To let words, reflection, & solitude be a cradle.

A cradle for a busy soul.

XOXO
Meg

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